Is Your Child Lazy, Bored or Something Deeper?

Many parents are quick to label their child as “lazy” because the child does not want to do homework, play with friends, or engage in extracurricular activities. Such children may also avoid or procrastinate or complain of being bored. But if we dig a little deeper, we can easily find underlying causes for such “laziness.”

Despite differences in temperament, most children are born and raised to be curious, social, motivated, and happy. When a child is not performing at the same level as their peers, there is often something wrong.

The most common underlying reasons for a child’s apparent “laziness” include:

1. Depression (sadness, apathy, lethargy, concentration difficulties)
2. Anxiety (fear of failure or disappointment, perfectionism)
3. Cognitive deficit (ADHD, Learning Disability, Asperger’s)
4. Skill deficit (never taught, doesn’t know how to problem solve)
5. Learned dependence (co-dependence and over-reliance on others)
6. Lack of interest in the task (no desire to complete unwanted task)
7. Passive-aggressiveness (expressing anger indirectly, family dynamics)

The best way for parents to help their child overcome laziness is to:

1. Re-label the action or lack of action with its underlying cause
2. Try not to express anger or frustration about the child’s behavior
3. Repeat to yourself “my child is doing the best he/she can”
4. Join with the child by verbalizing what you believe is getting in their way
5. Share your own experiences with overcoming “laziness”
6. Provide them with the tools they need to be successful on their own (e.g, psychotherapy, medication, tutoring, learning remediation, teaching them the skill, changing the family dynamics).
7. Practice with them until they build confidence

Written by  Joshua Rosenthal, PsyD